Smart but Scattered Teens by Richard Guare

Author:Richard Guare [Guare, Richard]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Guilford Publications
Published: 2012-05-15T07:00:00+00:00

BUILDING RESPONSE INHIBITION

If your answers to the questions in the questionnaire suggest that your teen struggles with response inhibition, the following guidelines are important.

• Assume that in the presence of peers your teen will have reduced impulse control. In some situations, such as school, this issue is less critical, since there should be other adults to monitor and set expectations and limits. Open-ended social situations are the real areas of concern. First, make sure that prior to the time your teen is going out the door you have established clear expectations, limits, and consequences. We reviewed these in some detail in Chapter 6, but essentially this means knowing where your teen is going, whom the teen will be with, and what time the teen will return home. You also should have in place a procedure for how and when your teen will tell you about a change in plans. If you are expecting adults to be on hand to supervise house parties or sleepovers, talk to those adults ahead of time and ensure that your teen will stay on the premises for the planned duration of the party unless you’re notified otherwise. Yes, your teen will object to this “surveillance.” If you feel yourself wavering in the face of this opposition, all you need to do is read the police reports routinely published in newspapers about events that unfold at unsupervised parties.

• Expect your teen to choose fun activities over challenging or nonpleasurable ones. If the unappealing tasks have deadlines, such as for school projects, college applications, or even chores, you will need to check to see if they’re being completed or if there are consequences for failure to complete them. You also may need to help your teen by discussing ways to control or eliminate distractions.

• To help your teen delay gratification, use waiting periods for things she wants to do or have. Learning to wait is the foundation for response inhibition and is a skill that teens need to develop. “First–then” schedules accomplish this goal (“First do your homework; then you can use the computer, take the car, etc.”).

• Require your teen to earn some of the things he wants as another way to teach delayed gratification and response inhibition. Having your teen save for part of driver education, car insurance, or a cell phone, helps to combat the expectation that “I want it and deserve it right now.”

• Prepare your teen for situations that require impulse control by regularly reviewing the rules in advance. This would include activities such as prohibition of cell phone use while driving, the use of seat belts, letting you know about changes in plans, and expectations about acceptable and unacceptable behaviors.

• Immediately before your teen goes into a situation that may test response inhibition, review a few specific rules again. When you do this, your teen might listen more carefully if you present these rules in the context of your caring about her and wanting her to be safe.

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